It's over..

i know.
no matter the amount of tears i shed is gonna bring u back to my side.
i never regretted loving you.
i never stopped loving you once.
i know.
things are this way now.
no matter how much i cry,
like what i'm doing now while i'm typing this,
is gonna bring u back.
Sometimes i wished,
time could just turn back,
and i could have treasured you as much as you did.
I know i disappointed you.
I know..
But.
What could i do?
I truly love you,
even until now,
that u left me already,
ignoring my sms.
Life sucks without you in it.
I don't know why things turned out to be this way.
But if you'll be happier this way,
then i guess it doesn't hurt as much to end this relationship.
Even though both of us might be hurt,
but if u chose this path,
i respect your decision,
no matter how unwilling i am at heart.
Because
I love you,
i want the best for you.
If being with me was a torment,
then i guess letting you go,
is my way of compensating.
Then i guess,
all the tears i shed for you,
all the hurt i feel in my heart,
that i don't show it out,
is my punishment.
Then i guess,
losing you today,
is what i caused myself to land up in.
Destroyed by my own hands.
Please don't blame yourself.
You were never wrong,
the one at wrong,
is me.
And i know,
you're never returning to my side,
ever again,
no matter how much i really want you back,
because,
i'm not good enough.
And through this,
i'm going to learn,
to change into someone,
better than yesterday,
better than today,
into the future me.
Hoping you will see it.
And realising all this is for you.
No matter how much my mouth is hard,
and say all the words i never meant at heart,
and say all the phrases that made me seem strong,
deep in my heart,
is something else you never knew,
and you will never know,
that is,
i am satisfied to be able to love you,
and gaining your love for this past 2 months,
i never regretted,
i never changed,
i never thought of anything else,
but to love you,
but it's all too late to say now,
you're already gone,
never coming back.
So for the last time,
that i can,
i'm gonna say,
i love you.
But,
the love for you in my heart,
will never change.
Ever since you suggested to break,
i had never blamed you,
deep in my heart,
but maybe on the surface,
it seemed like i'm blaming you,
but i'm just being hard at mouth.
I know all these is cause of my own actions.
I know..

What's wrong..

Hi everyone, it's a new term and i am looking foward to the many new things i'm gonna do together with my lovely clique ! And i promised myself i am going to work harder this term as i didnt do good enough for the last one. Well today it's pretty lame, went to school for 9am~10am lecture then had a break until 1pm. Maine, Jingwen, Wanyee and Roy went my house and helped my mum move the bookcase to the other room :D Thanks girls and erzi for the help, especially erzi, even his pangsai power also come out already! LOL.

(at this moment, shueting came to lie down beside me to see me blog ;x im at her house)

LOL.
ok blablabla nothing really much to say, other than just feeling weird nowadays and not knowing what's wrong laaa. =(
i guess i'll just concentrate on having fun with my friends and classmates then LOL :D

Yesterday's OUTING!

PHOTOS!

tempura ice cream

Guess handbag VS Renoma wallet

Acting Cute!

EEE! Food all over mouth >< Twist xD

Chopsticks in NOSE!

Wow yummy what a spread!

Yummy Chawanmushi :D

Bai pose with food :D

Hahas sorry for not blogging last night when i reached vinn's house his mum mopping the floor couldnt use the compp :(

Yesterday when me and vinn woke up we found out we were already late to meet my classmates for badminton session LOL~! then i hurried to go wash up and we were on our way back to school to meet them. When we reached, my classmates kept shouting "Happy 2nd month! Happy 2nd month!". HAHAS thanks girls, and boys? ._. Lols. Then i didn't dare to play badminton with them in groups like 2v2 or 3v3 because of what happened in my secondary school days. At then, we were playing double and the other girl wanted to smack the shuttlecock and end up the racket smacked my face instead. My glasses broke and the glass pieces cut my face, near my eyes >.<

Around 3:45pm me and vinn went to my house to wash up. I bathed first then i came out of the bathroom to dry myself and vinn was standing at the bedroom door. I tio scared i suddenly went "AHH~!" then hopped back into the bathroom LOL! After washing up, we went to take cab to century square for our 2nd month dinner at SAKAE SUSHI!! omg my favourite :D the stupid waiter assigned us to a seat that the compp wasnt working ._. then i asked the waitress to let me change seat to a compp that was functioning. We both had high tea buffet and vinn suggested having a gamble. The one that ate lesser would owe each other something. If i lose, i had to buy him the Renoma wallet he wanted, that cost $93. If he lose, he had to buy me a Guess handbag, that cost around $100~$200. Japanese cuisine i sure win one lehhs. LOLS. At first he keep chiong food then halfway through the dinner he suddenly tell me he want to cancel the bet. I guess he knew he's gonna lose LOL! When our record reached to 12 plates, he wanted to go to the toilet. Think he couldnt tahan already, needed to poo before continuing. Then he came back and i told him i ordered Tempura ice cream his face went like *JAW DROP* LOL! Yeah i know it's not included in the buffet but i really like it alot ._. Then we had our fill already, with vinn looking like he want to vomit, we settled the bill and left the place.

Shueting was waiting for me at Century Square's entrance, cause i promised her i will pei her go Douby Ghaut to collect her couple ring. Then we had a smoke and went to take MRT. After collecting the rings we went to walk walk and i kinda have an idea what accesories i want to get for my sister's wedding dinner. :) then we walk walk and saw the skirt we wanted to buy. Shueting called it the "wayang skirt" dunno how to spell it! It's like layers and one color with different tone from light to dark. Was planning to get it for my sister's wedding, the afternoon wear, since i tried it on and shueting said i looked ok in it. Later we're going to look at it again :/ at tampines mall. Hopefully i will get something i like! :D

Hao la time for me to go bathe to prepare to go out already!

Wouldn't be blogging too actively because my lappie's at acer for repairs.
But i'll blog whenever i can! :)

LATE IN THE NIGHT!

ROAR! I just finished reading VINN's blog since he knew me and got together with me. WOW almost every post has my name or refered to me laaas. So gan dong ! But hope that we will really last very very long lor. NOT HOPE, IS CONFIRM LAAAS HAHAS! Silly VINN is sleeping like a pig, like the one in his blog and the one i drew for him on his wallpaper USING PAINT! :D tomorrow we're going to play badminton together with the my girlfriends back in TP and i'm sure we're gonna enjoy it! I know that charmaine and roy had some kinda disagreement and both of them are angry at each other now. Well jolly holly i hope that you two can settle it asap alright because i'm afterall an outsider can't interfere much BUT no matter what we're all friends! Don't be angry for too long! Just like JOEL and WANYEE got some kinda conflict few days ago but now they're on good terms again! :D So happy~ Wonder what's up for me and vinn for tomorrow's 2nd month celebration? :S Tomorrow i'm sure to take LOTS of pictures to show all my blog viewers :D Anyway just now had that small conflict with vinn, settled already! Just a small little sorry settles everything :D We've never gotten into very serious quarrels before and i don't really wish to see that day's coming :X

AWW, MY CUTE LITTLE BABY'S ALL ASLEEP! :D Sometimes i look at him i feel that he's so cute. Then when he's asleep i will go kiss his lips or cheeks even though i know he doesn't know it LOL :D Am i kinda crazy? @@ LOLS! But anyway still love you laaas! Sleep tight alright? Although i know it sucks to sleep alone without me being beside you! HAHAS!

WELL, Just now went to JURONG to go ACER service center to repair my lappie. It's been abnormal for a year plus and finally i brought it for repair. My alarm ringed at 11am and i woke up to switch it off and continue sleeping~! I FORGOT that i was suppose to meet roy er zi 1pm at jurong east mrt. Then VINN called and i was like "hello..? what..?" then he was like "i'm going jurong to repair comp with my bro u know u want follow us anot?" then i totally got stunned and woke up in like ZOOOOM! went to brush my teeth bathe and stuff then rushed out already :/ not wasting my efforts, i finally was able to catch up with them, but we only came together when we were at tanjong pagar i think. They boarded the train from the 5th door and me 4th! SO QIAO RIGHT?! telepathy with my dear laaas lols. then at jurong my er zi made me wait 10mins for him then he appear, but i don't blame him cause i'm patient. Then we went to take 143 to Internation Business Park. The bus take so long can, or maybe it was especially long because i was too hungry. When we reached the ACER building, i saw someone so FAMILIAR standing outside cans? Then i checked my hp i got a missed call from sihan baka. Yeah when i was on the way to jurong he did ask me details on my trip today and stuff but i didnt expect he'll appear there! THen POOF hp went out of batt and i RAN back to the entrance to find that guy. It turned out to be really baka. HE REALLY BAKA CAN! STAND THERE WAIT ME ALSO DON'T WANT CALL ME D: But then alright, after leaving my lappie and bf's bro's lappie with ACER we went to IMM. Boyfriend's slipper spoilt so we gotta buy a new pair and the most ridiculous thing is he was barefooted all the way from ACER to IMM laaas. ROFLMAOS LAA SILLY! He bought a pair of etnies that costs only $15 WTF RIGHT?! and it's the same design as my bro-in-law LOLS! Then we went to cafe cartel and ate our Lunch+Dinner o.o cause it was around 4~5pm already. Yummy i had beef + egg burger and shared a waffle with ice cream with erzi :D After that we went home le lor. Went to queue up for the shuttle service to Clementi and took to bus and travelled home~ Nothing special particularly happened.. Then HERE I AM AT MY BOY'S HOUSE! :D But not to worry we didn't do anything! Okays laaas I'm quite tired too guess i'll go to bed and pei my cute little boy! :D

Good nights all~! :D
Love VINCENT !!
HAPPY 2ND MONTH!

2ndMONTH with VINCENT..

Tonight is my 2ndMONTH together with VINN!
But things doesn't seem as sweet and lovely like everyone would think. He's sleeping and i went to greet him happy 2nd month with a kiss. Then i got bored and started using his hand to hit my face! Well it's just a game he always plays with me! Then in the middle he started grabbing my hand and hitting his own face continously and very hardly. I couldn't stop him from doing it and i felt helpless. Because of my playfulness he's hurting himself. USING MY HANDS?! I don't understand why he wanted to take my hands to hit his own face. But it just hurt me. Tata got nothing more to say. Feeling all fucked up now.

K goodnight byes.

Bedtime..

HOHOHO Merry Christmas. Hahas not yet laaas. But soon. In a week's time will be Christmas and i guess this year christmas will be lonely because boyfriend is going china~ How lucky! DEAR DO YOU REMEMBER YOU SAID YOU WANNE WATCH TWILIGHT WITH ME? Or have you forgotten? :S

Just now was audiing and as usual, chatting chitting and chitting chatting. Then yeah it suddenly inspired me to create a new guild called ~FusionX~ and it will be specially a guild created for the audiiers in my class to join. But still not too sure about what name to use. Joel suggested Metallica or THEMOVEZ. Oh my god typical guy's idea. Can someone give me some nice idea please? Before my head burst into a million pieces.

And also yeah! I got a new BAKA today! It's my long time friend Sihan! LOLS! He always calls me baka, baka, baka. On MSN also baka, audi also baka. Then it made me wanted to make him my BAKA! And yeah LOL!

Okays laaas quite late already i guess i should be going to bed soon after i eat my maggie! Mummy woke up to cook for me!! HEHES what a lucky girl i am :D

goodNIGHTS to BOYFRIEND,BAKA,BESTIE,AMELYNdarling,ROYerzi! <3

Today In MSN..

Okays story goes like this. I asked Kyros whether he wants to join us for Badminton session in school this tuesday and here's our MSN convo.

__MunMunx33™__Nothing is permanent except change (: says:
WANNE COME BACK TO SCHOOL AND PLAY BADMINTON WITH US ?
__MunMunx33™__Nothing is permanent except change (: says:
=D
[Kyros] - Kyros wishes u happy merry xmas. thebwgoods.com (under renov & need suppliers!, interested to be one?) says:
us is who?
__MunMunx33™__Nothing is permanent except change (: says:
MY GROUP OF GIRLS ROY AND JOEL =D
__MunMunx33™__Nothing is permanent except change (: says:
COME MA
__MunMunx33™__Nothing is permanent except change (: says:
=D
[Kyros] - Kyros wishes u happy merry xmas. thebwgoods.com (under renov & need suppliers!, interested to be one?) says:
grp of girls ar.
[Kyros] - Kyros wishes u happy merry xmas. thebwgoods.com (under renov & need suppliers!, interested to be one?) says:
=x
__MunMunx33™__Nothing is permanent except change (: says:
yeah
__MunMunx33™__Nothing is permanent except change (: says:
our group of 5
__MunMunx33™__Nothing is permanent except change (: says:
and
[Kyros] - Kyros wishes u happy merry xmas. thebwgoods.com (under renov & need suppliers!, interested to be one?) says:
none of them i like (feelings) de including u. =x
[Kyros] - Kyros wishes u happy merry xmas. thebwgoods.com (under renov & need suppliers!, interested to be one?) says:
=x

LOL @ KYROS WTF U TALKING. WHAT HAS PLAYING BADMINTON GOTTA DO WITH FEELINGS?!

AND I'M SO SAD. JOEL SAID I'M JUST HIS CLASSMATE NOT FRIEND. :(

Before 2009..

It's only 17 more days to a brand new year. Well i can say that alot happened during the year 2008! And i certainly do not wish the bad happens again ;x OF COURSE it's not gonna happen with me having such a lovely boyfriend like VINN!

And yeah i have to agree with what u said last night. The period from 16~17years and 17~18years, i changed alot. The change is so drastic it changed my life. From the guai guai nu in secondary school days, to the huai huai nu before i started school in TP. I used to be the type, having curfew, saying NO to smoking and NO to smokers. But look at me now, being a smoker and not going home during weekends. And yeah of course i realised that i've wasted one year's time. And to stop all this i've decided to start anew from 2009. Since 2008 was a bad year, i'll make 2009 a good one. I want to make everyone proud of me for quitting, i want my dear to be happy, and my family too, even though they thought that i've quit. And also my friends in TP, they are very concerned about me smoking. In my heart i really want to quit, but temptation kills. But compared to the past, my urge to smoke has cut down drastically. Isn't that something good? Compared to the past a packet a day, it's only at most half a pack a day now. I know i'm making good progress and i want to make sure i quit before 2009, as promised to myself and also to my DEAR although he leaves this quitting thingy to myself. OF COURSE another target i wanna achieve is to graduate 3 years from now, instead of dropping out, withdrawing or failing too much. I've lost my chance to studied once, i don't wanna lose it again.

So here are my goals from now to 2009!

• Enjoy our 2ndMONTH together!
• QUIT SMOKING! [17days more]
• Cut down on vulgarities :(
• Great celebration for my 1stYEAR together with VINCENT♥
• Recieve alot of ANGBAO for LUNAR NEW YEAR
• Sister's Wedding to be a SUCCESS and get alot of ANGBAO!
• High pass for my EXAMS :)
• Become a more ENJOYABLE friend to be with
• Become PRETTIER!
• My DEAR to love me MORE MORE MORE!
• Give VINCENT a birthday present he LIKES!

That's all i can think of till now. I'm sure there will be more as time passes!

I don't give a fucking care whether you're gonna give my group or joel's group heck care attitude, which apparently you are so noob and dumb you don't know how to spell "heck care" and spelt it as "hack care". Don't tell people that you're gonna give us attitude when you're the one ignoring us. We're not the ones not giving you chance but you are the one ruining your own chance. If you're that unhappy come on over talk to me in real life in school wherever you see me. I'm not gonna give in just because you are a guy because you don't even have that guts of a guy. HUMJI BAO. I am utterly disgusted by you. Fuck off from my sight, you spoil my eyes. Not only mine, you are spoiling our eyes. Just to be straight, yes indeed we don't like you. So? Is that any concern of yours? It's your own problem if you like JINGWEN until you're going mad but let me tell you this. We're not obliged to talk to you, befriend you, or give you your so-called god damn chance. So yeah just shut the fuck up and stop telling people how you feel about us cause we don't fucking care! __

Finally..

After holding on to so long for not talking to him about that photo that i found, finally had the courage to said it out. It happened to be all a misunderstanding! :D We clarified and yupp~

I'm Still Loving Him!
[16.10.08<3]

After Term Tests..

Hello all lol i know there might be no one reading this post but i just want to rant ARGH~! Term tests are over with me practically crashing most of the tests and i got this strong feeling that i'm going fail at least 3 out of the 5 tested -.- didn't really prepare quite well before the term tests, didn't know what to study for PRSP and WDS. What's worst is on tuesday i had two papers, i thought that CARC was tested first so i studied like hell for it the night before and it turned out that CMATHS2 was tested first AND WHAT'S WORST IS I DIDN'T STUDY A SINGLE THING FOR CMATHS2, but luckily i was able to do a FEW questions. Dangs~

Yeah quite a lot changed about myself too. Got a nice boyfriend, better classmates. But there's some problem now, i don't know how to put it across to him. So i guess i can just rant it here since he didn't know my blog link lols! Aww, my darling Amelyn knows what happened. The thing is very simple actually. A week ago, i pointed out to him that i didn't like it that there are too many other girl's photos in his computer. Then he went to "take action", as in delete the photos. Then today when he went to work i went to check his comp, and found out that there's a photo he took with this girl. Obviously prettier than me by tons LOLS! But the main point is, I'm kinda bothered that i gave him this first chance to "take action", and he didn't fulfil his "mission". So i really don't know how to put it across. AND WHAT'S WORST i found out that that girl is his ex girlfriend. Girls, figure out how u would feel right? -.- But i chose to keep quiet again. But if i don't, i really have no idea what to do already.

Dangs.
Even though i'm angry at that picture's existence in his comp, but i still love him.
AND I LOVE AMELYN TOO :DD
Although we didn't know each other for very long but i believe we can be very good friends one day!